gnomes ate my son
They took him and I was powerless to stop them. The gnomes emerged from the long grass in the back garden with their red hats and ill intentions as he was playing on the swing I built for him on his 4th birthday and I was smoking a newport on the porch smiling. I knew that tiny door in the old tree stump out back was trouble the moment we bought the house. All I have left of my son now are the fingernails that fell off when he clawed at my perfectly trimmed lawn as they dragged him into their lair.
• 60% cotton, 40% polyester
• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area
• Structured, six-panel cap
• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)
• Hard buckram front panels
• Mesh back
• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor
• Plastic adjustable closure
• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)